


These Feeling May Never End, But Is That A Bad Thing?

by nightmare_nostalgia



Category: My Babysitter's A Vampire
Genre: F/F, I plan for this to be good so if it isn't i'm going to cry, more Sarica content because I said so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:49:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27069658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nightmare_nostalgia/pseuds/nightmare_nostalgia
Summary: Erica wasn't blind. She could see when something was off, supernatural or not. But in the case of emotions, Erica couldn't see a thing. That is until they boiled up for a little too long and she couldn't take it anymore.
Relationships: Sarah Fox/Erica Jones
Kudos: 7





	These Feeling May Never End, But Is That A Bad Thing?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Welcome back to one of my works. I'm really proud of this one, so I really hope that you like it too. Send feedback, it's recommended. Have fun reading! Enjoy!

Sarah was a special creature. Not in the sense that she was a vampire, but in the sense that she was beautiful. Sarah was a beautiful creature, one that cared about other people and their feelings. One that was bad ass and knew how to stand up for herself when needed. One that knew how to empathize with people and help them get through their problems. Sarah was an ethereal being sent down by the goddesses to make everyone's life better. The way her dark caramel locks were so precisely placed into her scalp. The way her eyes were such an alluring brown color that could reel you in and never let go. The way her lips were the an exact shade of bubblegum without even trying. The way the curls in her head fell so smoothly and were practically begging, pleading to have fingers ran through them. Calling Sarah perfect was a huge understatement.

Erica always thought this way about Sarah, but didn't everybody? Did not everybody think their best friend was attractive in some sense? Even if it went against their sexuality? Erica was straight...and she was sure of that, but someone like Sarah could easily break that thin line between sexuality. That's all it really was, right? A thin line between different sexualities? The blonde was definitely positive that she was straight. Boys were all she thought of, next to Sarah, so she had to be straight. She always questioned herself from time to time but she'd usually try to break her train of thought. She didn't really like being confused, because then she'd get frustrated and Sarah always hated when she was genuinely mad. Erica hated that she worried so much about what the other girl thought of her. If she was sticking around for this long, she must have a reason to keep Erica around. Maybe it was because they were both vampires and Sarah didn't really know any more vamps around. Erica's train of thought was broken by Sarah approaching.

"What's up Erica? Sorry if I interrupted something, you looked spaced out. You ok?" Sarah's voice was soft and soothing and her tone had concern behind it. That sent a shiver down Erica's spine and tingled her brain just right. She could listen to the shorter girl talk forever and ever to hear her voice. It made Erica feel so wanted and lucky to even have the chance for Sarah to even want to stretch her vocal chords to produce the sweet melody of her voice. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about who my next snack is gonna be." Erica bared her fangs. The taller girl didn't consider herself an actor, but she was doing pretty good at concealing her feelings toward the other girl. She was proud of herself for that. Sarah put a hand on her to signal her to put away fangs away and whipped her head to see if anyone was around. Erica almost melted into a puddle on the floor. She felt so unworthy of Sarah's attention, let alone her going out of her way to lift a muscle in concern of her. She put away her fangs and rolled her eyes, fighting a smile that was slowly creeping on her face. 

"Ok, well...you know I've been hanging out with Ethan a lot..." Sarah started the sentence, but seemed hesitant to finish. Erica couldn't stand that little twerp always taking away from her and Sarah's time. Hearing the name of him or his little sidekick Benny boiled Erica's blood, even though no blood flowed within her. Maybe it was jealousy? No, it couldn't be if she had nothing to be jealous of...

"Yeah, what about that dork?" Erica tried to keep composure, letting some anger slip out in the tone of her words. She hated it when she showed Sarah anger. It's not that she was mad at her, it was more of Ethan. Mad, not jealous. She felt bad because she could feel Sarah reacting defensively to her tone and hints of not wanting to go on with the sentence. See, when Erica started feeling this weird attracted feeling toward Sarah, she started getting more observant. She started picking up on Sarah's mannerisms and how she reacted to certain things. Erica had been doing this for 4 years, yes 4 years. 

"Wellllll....I kinda...maybe...sorta...Like him? Like, like him. And I was thinking about asking him out. What'd you think?" Erica froze as the syllables fell out of Sarah's mouth, so stupidly perfect. But Erica was not jealous, no, she was just...surprised. Surprised that Sarah wanted to ask out a boy...and not her. What? No not her obviously because they were both straight. They both liked males ONLY. And that was ok that they both were straight. So why would Sarah want to ask her out? Why would Erica want her to ask her out?

"Um, that's great. Really." Erica tried not to sound worn out. She didn't even know why she felt worn out. But she could tell that Sarah heard the strain in her voice. Erica cursed herself for being so bad at hiding her feelings most of the time. Erica blew out a breath she didn't know that she was holding in her lungs. Sarah rose an eyebrow at the tiredness of her friend and looked her up and down as if to say 'I know you're hiding something and I'm waiting for you to tell me what it is'. Erica rolled her eyes and took another deep breath out.

"I dunno. I guess I wanna boyfriend or something. Life is gonna get boring without you always around." Erica nudged Sarah shoulder playfully. This was half the truth and half a lie. Erica wanted a boyfriend to fit in and not seem like an outcast like she was before she was turned. She was really depressed when she was in that state, but Sarah would always try to cheer her up. That's another thing she ~~loved~~ about Sarah, wanting to help in anyway she could. But Erica never really seemed to be attracted to boys...

"Yeah, like I would ever choose anyone over you. You're my best friend. And have been for the longest. I love you." A smile came across Sarah's face and Erica froze again. It was something about the magic words 'I love you' that made butterflies arise in Erica's stomach. It made her feel like her lungs were gonna collapse at that very moment and prevent her from breathing, even though she didn't really need to. But she pretended like it was nothing and smiled back at her. Why did those words make her feel that way? "Anyways, has there been any guys you've been into lately. Yknow, other than for snacks?"

"Ummm, I guess not." Erica sounded surprised for Sarah's sake, but knew that she was never really into boys like that. She figured after she turned her hormones would finally kick in, but that wasn't the case. Sarah raised her eyebrows in thought, then quickly lowered them. She snapped her fingers into finger guns and pointed them at Erica. The blonde rolled her eyes. She knew that Sarah only did that when she had a plan that would most likely backfire, but in the moment it didn't matter.

"How about you ask out Benny!" Sarah face rose while Erica's dropped in contrast. The taller girls temper started to rise while Sarah repeatedly hit Erica's arm. Erica rolled her eyes and walked away as if it say 'Are you serious? I can't do this anymore.' Sarah jogged a bit until she caught up the Erica. "Oh c'mon. It can't be that bad. Benny's nice and sweet and playful, you'll really like him." Sarah voice was so soft it was almost like she was trying to charm her. 

Just then, Benny and Ethan came up behind them. Erica whipped her head around and showed her fangs, making Benny and Ethan jump back and scream in fright. The blonde snickered turning back forward while Sarah slapped Erica's arm in a way the said 'stop messing around with them'. The two boys regained composure and started walking a good distance between the the girls.

"So, Ethan. I was wondering if...maybe...you'd like to go on a date with me tonight. Like to the park or something?" Sarah broke the silence after a little. Erica felt a large pang in her chest and nearly reached to hold her stomach, but then realized it wasn't real. Why was she feeling so shitty that the brunette was asking someone out. I mean, it wasn't like she wanted to be asked out by Sarah, that was a stupid thought. And yet it still lingered. 

"Uh-um sure! That sounds nice" Ethan reassured with a smile. That's when Erica felt like she was gonna throw up. She took a few, silent deep breaths and calmed herself down. Ok...now she was starting to feel like she had some sort of feelings toward Sarah that were over the line of platonic, but nothing too serious. She was knocked out of her thoughts by Sarah nudging her once again. Erica shook her head, knowing it was a bad idea. But was it really? Maybe Benny could help distract from the fact that she had a slight crush on her best friend.

She took a deep breath and calmly asked, "And Benny, I was wondering if you wanted to go to said park with me also." Erica gulped down a disgusting taste in her mouth from those words. She didn't know why she wasn't as into guys as Sarah seemed. She was definitely straight and this crush she had on the brunette was just a fluke, right? It couldn't mean anything more because Sarah didn't want it. And Erica didn't want it either. Or maybe she did...

"Uh, hell yeah!" Benny seemed to yell. Erica felt a knot in her stomach because she was definitely going to let him down. Here's the thing, Benny's really nice and cool and she might not show it on the outside, but on the inside Erica wouldn't want to hurt a fly. Let alone a human boy. Erica let out an exhausted sigh and knew that more than one person was gonna get hurt that night.

"Cool, pick us up at 6:00. See you guys then" Sarah concluded as the boys broke off to Benny's house and the girls walked to Erica's house. The walk to her house was horrible for Erica, seeing as she knew she was not gonna have fun at this little date. But she did have some questions to ask Benny about his friendship with Ethan. The blonde wanted to get some questions answered about her little situation about Sarah. Was Benny the best person to ask questions to? No, not at all, but Erica didn't want it to seem awkward and out of the blue. "See, it wasn't that bad. Now we have dates. And to the park. How romantic?" Sarah did a high pitched squeal that Erica ~~loved~~ and sent butterflies to her stomach.

* * *

Erica heard a knock on the front door. She was so nervous for this date they were going on. What if her cover gets blown? What if Benny didn't answer the questions? What if Benny caught on? Erica gestured for Sarah to follow her downstairs. Erica was wearing a normal red shirt with jeans and Sarah was wearing a normal purple shirt with jeans. Sarah opened the door to reveal Benny and Ethan standing there. they weren't wearing anything out of the ordinary, Benny in stripes and Ethan in some weird band tee.

They were in the car, Sarah and Ethan in the back, Benny driving and Erica in the passenger seat. The blonde's leg was bouncing up and down as she played with her hair and scratched her scalp. She felt like her skin was gonna fall off at any moment. She barely tuned into the playful chatting in the back of the car while Benny tapped his thumbs on the steering wheel to the beat of the song coming from the car radio. Erica took deep breaths to try to steady her nerves. The park really wasn't that far the house.

Sarah and Ethan jumped out the car first and Erica watched as the two laughed and how happy Sarah was with Ethan. The blonde felt a sting of guilt because she realized that she couldn't make the brunette as happy as Ethan could. And that hurt. Sarah was her everything and she couldn't be her everything back. Erica wanted to be there for Sarah all the time, but sometimes she just couldn't. And that hurt. The blonde's sight started getting blurring and her eyes were glassing over with tears wanting, pleading to push the boundaries of her eyelids. Then she felt a hand gently rest on her thigh.

"Hey, are you ok?" It was Benny. She wanted to tear up more, knowing that she would be hurting him. She swallowed back the force to sob.

"Uh-y-yeah I'm fine." She replied, not fooling the boy. Erica blinked back most of her tears except one that streamed down check, glistening in the moon's shine. She quickly wiped it away in hopes to defuse the situation. The blonde opened the car door and got out of the seat to join the two ~~lovebirds~~ on the playground. when she was close enough, she saw them sliding down a twin slide and holding hands. She brushed it off and nearly jumped out of her skin when Benny touched her on the shoulder.

"Look, Benny, I think we need to talk about the 'date' we're on," Erica decided to break the silence as they walked to the playground. 

"Uhm, ok" Benny agreed, not really sure where she was going with this.

Erica took a deep breath in, "Look, you're a really nice guy Ben. And I guess I could say I like hanging out with you, but I'm only going on this date for Sarah. There's someone else that's kinda...caught my eye and I don't want her to know."

"Don't worry Erica, I won't tell her that you're practically in love with her" ~~Lov~~ e? Erica wasn't in ~~lo~~ ve with Sarah. She was just attracted to her a little. Her attraction hadn't gone that far. Yet when Benny said it, it felt right. Like something was holding her back from her true self. But what was it?

"Wha-wha-wha no I'm not"

"You so obviously are! For example, two seconds ago when you were crying in the car because Ethan and Sarah were happy together."

"Ok, you don't have to call me out. I dunno, my feelings are just confusing right now. It's like, I'm attracted to her, yes, but I'm straight."

"I don't think that's how it works. You're definitely a lesbian." Lesbian? Erica was most definitely straight. But that wasn't how it worked. Ok, but she had to be at least bisexual or pansexual, not a lesbian. Well now that she thought of it.... Benny must've saw Erica deep in thought and just patted her on the back, running over to Sarah and Ethan. The blonde rolled her eyes and follow behind him.

"Hey guys, what took you so long?" Sarah asked when so noticed her friends were near. Erica only bothered to glance over at the other girl and so felt her stomach do a little flip. She couldn't stand to see her having fun without her. Which Erica herself thought was selfish. But she couldn't help it.

"We were just having a...talk" Benny gave a reassuring wink to Erica. She was thankful for the gesture.

"OooOoo! About what?" Ethan widened his eyes and stared at the two. Erica's eyes actually widened as she quickly glanced over at Benny. His eyes were soft and calm, reminding the blonde she had nothing to worry about. Erica loved the color and expression of Benny's eyes, they were deeper than anyone's she seen. She admired them for a little longer until the boy looked back at her.

"It's, nothing really. What are you two lovebirds doing?" Benny sat on the swing seat next to Ethan. Erica sat down next to Sarah. The brunette reached over and held the blonde's hand after seeing how nervous she was. Erica looked down at both of their hands then into Sarah's eyes. Her eyes were warm and inviting to be stared at until forever. Sarah gave a soft smile to Erica and starting rubbing circles into the back of her hands. Erica's felt like her breath was leaving her lungs at a rapid pace and the butterflies in her stomach were awfully large. That is until Sarah pulled her hand back and looked at Ethan on the other side of her. Erica felt like she was gonna crumble into a pile of ashes at that very moment. All of the butterflies that once fluttered in her stomach had dissipated and air refilled her lungs. Her nervous feelings had left, in a bad way.

"I-I think I'm gonna head home guys." Erica managed to let them words leave the barrier of her mouth. She tried so hard to gulp down the quiver of her voice and tear tears that were slowly starting to form in her eyes. She stood up from the swing.

"Why? We just got here." Sarah insisted,but Erica just shook her head and gave a grin. Benny looked over and almost got up until the blonde nodded her head to him in a way of saying 'I'm fine'.

"No-I really should go. It's starting to get cold." Erica zoomed back to her house. Vampires can't react to temperature, everyone knew that. She didn't want anyone to think that anything was wrong, but she wasn't fooling anyone. Erica was usually sharp and aggravated but in that moment of just experiencing the most emotional pain in her life she was soft and gently with her words and tone. The blonde hated whenever she acted out of character like that because then people wonder what was wrong. And she hated expressing her feelings because she felt like no one cared.

* * *

Erica flopped down on her bed. She was was disappointed in herself for leaving to double date so early, but she couldn't handle it. Was it selfish? Yep, but she didn't want her cover blown. Erica lifted her head slightly and slammed it back into her pillow. She did this until she heard her phone ring and slightly light up. Dust fluttered in the blueish-white light as Erica reached over to check who was texting her. It was Sarah.

Sarah: Hey are you ok? You left in kinda a hurry. What's up?

Erica: Yea, I'm fine, just wasn't feelin it w/ Benny

Sarah: Aw that's a shame. Do you want me to come over and we can talk about it?

Erica: I was actually just abt to go to sleep, so maybe another time?

Sarah: Oh, ok. Well, ttyl ily and sleep well babes 

Erica: night night

The blonde put her phone back on the bedside table and starting crying. Crying because of how generous Sarah was. Crying because of how sweet and kind Sarah was. Crying because of how stupid she was to leave as if the world revolved around her. Crying because of how rude she was to Sarah and Ethan and Benny for her little feelings. Crying because she was in love with Sarah. Erica was in love with Sarah. And that's what broke her.

* * *

Erica closed the front door behind her and took a deep breath in. She was on her way to hangout with Sarah, Ethan and Benny on another double date kind of thing but not really. Ethan, Sarah and Benny were already in Grandma Weir's car. Erica opened the door to the passenger's seat and greeted everyone. Throughout the trip to goddess knows where Erica couldn't help but look in the rear view mirror occasionally. That is until one time she looked back to Sarah and Ethan kissing. Erica felt sick and tried taking a few deep breaths to calm her nerves, but it didn't work.

"Uh, so where are we going anyways?" Erica asked, trying to distract herself from the awful feeling in her stomach and chest. It was quiet before that other than the small whispers from the backseat.

"We're going to an ice cream shop. We're almost there." Benny substituted for Sarah and Ethan as they were still sucking faces in the back. Erica settled in a little bit more, still feeling shitty.

A few minutes later, they were in a parking lot at an ice cream shop. Erica hesitantly got out of the car after the other three. Erica couldn't stop eyeing Sarah and Ethan. It made her feel horrible everytime they touched. Was that selfish? Yeah. The blonde was starting to realize a pattern.... The four teens scooted into the small building and ordered their ice cream flavors of choice. Benny ordered cookie dough, Ethan got mint chocolate chip, Sarah ordered strawberry and Erica ordered vanilla. And with that they went to go sit down at a table near the window.

Ethan and Sarah were doing cute couple stuff with their ice creams like interlocking arms. Erica rolled her eyes in disgust, but couldn't help but to look over at the two. She would never admit it, but she was jealous. Jealous of Ethan, jealous of his and Sarah's relationship, jealous of everything they had. Erica wanted to kiss Sarah in the back of Benny's grandma's car. Erica wanted to go on cute dates to the park a night with Sarah. Erica wanted to interlock her and Sarah's arms together while eating ice cream. Erica wanted to be able to tell Sarah that she loved her and have her say it back. Erica genuinely felt like she was gonna throw up now.

"I-um-am gonna go to the bathroom." Erica shot up from her seat and rushed to the bathroom. When she got to the bathroom she pressed her palms against the off-white dirty sink. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath in and opened her eyes, staring into the mirror. As always, there wasn't anything there but for a second, just one second, she hoped that there was something there. She huffed out a breath. Just then, Sarah came busting through the bathrooms doors.

"Hey, is everything ok. You're tearing up, what's wrong." Erica hadn't realized she was crying and the concern in Sarah's voice made her feel sick. She hated when Sarah was worried. The brunette stepped closer to Erica and used a thumb to wipe of a tear that was dripping down cheek. The taller girl wanted to melt in Sarah's hands at that moment.

"Um," Erica gulped, "I'm fine. Just a little tired." The taller girl lied. Sarah's body loosened up and gave the other girl a look that said, 'As if i'm gonna believe that'.

"Erica, you've been acting this way since yesterday. Please just tell me what's going on." Sarah reached over and grabbed Erica arm. This made a few more tears fall out of her eyes and roll down her cheeks. Erica so badly wanted to share all her thoughts with Sarah, but at what cost. Erica took a deep breath in, knowing she was about to do something she was going to regret for the rest of eternity.

"Do you really wanna know?" Erica asked to which Sarah nodded in reply, "It's...because..I'm..in love with you. And I am well aware that you don't feel the same way, but I've been wanting to get this off of my chest for a while now, about 4 years. And it was only last night that I realized my love for you, but it is very much there. And it hurts me everytime I see you with Ethan. Kissing and hugging and showing affection for each other. It hurts me. And oh dear god, please know that it's not your fault. But-um I think that's it so I'm gonna go cry in my room because you don;t feel the same so."

And with that, Erica vampire zoomed out of the ice cream shop. Sarah ran out of the bathroom feeling genuine guilt. The boy looked at her as if she was crazy and she gave a little wave at them and used her vampire speed to get to Erica's house.

* * *

Sarah busted through Erica's bedroom door. Erica's head quickly shot up to see the brunette going to sit on the bed next to her. 

"Sit up please. I want to talk you." Sarah's voice was sweet and alluring like candy. Erica couldn't resist. Was Sarah charming her? The blonde sat up, face drooping and makeup running down her cheeks. 

"If you came here to shun me, no need. I've already shunned myself." Erica said, voice low and thick.

"I didn't come to shun you. I just want to let you know that I'm proud of you. You were brave to tell me your emotions. And I also wanted to give you this." Sarah leaned in and connected hers and Erica lips together. This kiss meant a lot to Erica. It was 4 years of tension released from a chamber deep in her heart. It was 4 years of confusing feelings that refused to be thought about finally being understood. It was everything the blonde ever wanted. So Erica settled into the kiss, placing her hand on the back of Sarah's neck, getting some deep caramel hair intertwined in her fingers. Erica knew that they could kiss forever, literally, and she wanted to so bad. She didn't want to break this moment. That is until Sarah pulled away and looked her right in eye.

"I've wanted to wait until a better time to tell you, but I guess now is ok. I guess I'm in love with you too. I don't know, I've been keeping this inside of me because I didn't think you felt the same way. So I started dating Ethan because I thought it might turn me back straight. I've always felt this way I guess. Now I have to go break up with him. I feel kinda bad, yknow. But I'm pretty sure he's into Benny anyways." Sarah saw Erica's eyes light up which made a smile pop on her face. 

"Come here. I wanna hold you." Erica suggested, laying back down and holding her arms out for Sarah. Her tone was slightly whiny and needy. Sarah placed herself in Erica's embrace and snuggled in, hoping to stay there for a long time.

Sarah was a special creature. Not in the sense that she was a vampire, but in the sense that she was beautiful. Sarah was a beautiful creature, one that cared about other people and their feelings. One that was bad ass and knew how to stand up for herself when needed. One that knew how to empathize with people and help them get through their problems. Sarah was an ethereal being sent down by the goddesses to make everyone's life better. Especially Erica's. And Erica was there to make Sarah's life better. They were there for each other and that meant everything to Erica and Sarah. And finally, for the first time in 4 years, Erica and Sarah were happy. Together. 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it got kinda rushed at the end, but thank you so much for reading! More MBAV content on the way, so stay tuned for that. Until next time, eat, drink water and take care of yourself. Bye!


End file.
